ahaha thanks. i didn't write the post, just reblogged it.
me: i'm cold guys: shut up and stop complaining pretty girl: i'm cold guys: here take my jacket you beautiful little thing let's cuddle to transfer some heat to your precious little body so you don't get frostbite oh dear lord let this child be warm
you are very pretty my dear vivian
A 5yo boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath… “Mom, are these my brains ?? ” Mum : “Not yet sweety “
anyone else notice that Edward Nortons character in Fight club doesn’t have a name?
I am Jack’s complete lack of suprise.
avagrantinparadise:
wish some guy would come on my fat ass…
come here my dear. you’ll get that and much more
Need an attractive guy to twist my arm. Kthx.
wearing suit & tie tonight…
strictlyx:
xramsesx:
i actually like wearing them… very much ha!
fuck….O_o
i miss wearing a real suit
A Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist who was badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened. The Marine reported, I was heavily armed and m…oving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road. I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scum bag who got what he deserved. and he yelled back that Barack Obama is a lying, good-for-nothing, left wing Commie who isn’t even an American. So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian! He retaliated by yelling, Oh yeah? Well, so does Nancy Pelosi!. And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a speeding truck hit us.